O.K., you wake up and you feel like shit, heres how to have a damm good day. first of all wear your favorite clothes, dont worry if your rents hate em or if your boy/girlfriend hates em, fuck them, your havin a bad day. if you read those damm magazines with the skeletons known as models trade em for cool magazines like transworld skateboarding or guitar player, their way better for the self esteem and youll probably enjoy a nice koston nose bluntslide more than some gay ass perfume that makes yer whole house stink. dont worry about how you look, just remember theres uglier people than you, (www.uglypeople.com), works for proof. when you get to school find the funniest person you know, theyll say something funny and youll have a good laugh, if you have no friends just find the guy whos like 21 and laugh cause hes an idiot for still being in high school. after that, raise your hand for every question in your first classes, then say something close from the real answer but not quite, your teacher will applaude the effort and your classmates will think your funny. during lunch break,get like 3-4 friends and walk the halls looking for the biggest american eagles in the school, make sure their in a big gang and walk by and yell something funny, like "what the fuck is an american eagle" or "hey gap kid, where did you get the gap", the less it makes sense the better. when you yell this, make sure all your friends laugh like urkel blew up. i guarantee one of the dumbest looking eagles will yell the standard joke about fuckin your mom, then you and your friends get all serious and you say, "my mom is dead", then all the other eagles will be pissed at that guy cause hey dont go there. then walk away and when you hit a corner start laughing. even if the eagles hear you laughing they will know they have been had. then go to next classes feeling good and say something retarded, when you get home youll feel like a million bucks, and i want at least half.

-jacob hiltz